Posts Tagged ‘javascript’

Issues Cross

Things to say to handle controversial issues diplomatically?

I have strong ideas about a few different issues and sometimes cross swords with people who disagree. I am trying to learn to be confident expressing my opinion honestly but in a way that does not antagonise others - especially on delicate issues - and I'm looking for as many suggestions as possible for things to say or turns of phrase that diffuse defensiveness without weakening what I'm actually saying.
Examples I have are "I suggest that..." or "I put it to you that..." or "No offense intended, but..."
The more the better!

I like to say "In my experience I have found that..."
or "I read in (whatever magazine/newspaper/article).....and I thought it was interesting."
"I think there are pro's and con's to that. Some of them are..."
"Just to play devil's advocate here, what about this?"
"What's your take on the BP spill?"
"What solutions do you see to this crisis?"
"I am trying to understand your perspective, can you explain how you came to that conclusion?"
"I understand where you are coming from."
"I can appreciate your position here, you have had some different experiences"
"I haven't really thought of it this way before, but I can see your position here."

I have found that if you want to just expound on your ideas, by all means take the floor, talk without listening and badger others with your ideas. That can be very useful in a debate or a courtroom.

However, for enhancing your relationships you might want to listen more and step lightly on things you know are a big issue for people. I have a lot of "eclectic" ideas on things, your classic moderate, in every issue you could imagine. I can see both sides to most issues. It's hard when my hard core liberal friends get mad because I don't agree with all their political opinions and don't constantly hate all Republicans and trash every single idea they have. One of my friends is extremely opinionated and it gets annoying because she hammers you with her idea instead of knowing when to let up.

But for the sake of peace, I leave certain hot button issues alone especially with long time friends or family members. If I know someone's stance, I am not going to argue with them, if they are also passionate about it too. I would suggest that you pick your battles. If you know someone is very very touchy on politics or hard-core religous or something, don't bring up stuff that is going to cause an argument. Stick to nuetral territory like current events (sometimes neutral) music, movies, TV shows, hobbies, etc. Something you know can have a good debate/conversation but neither of you are hardcore passionate about it to the point where you're going to spend an hour arguing about what is the best kind of muffin mix to use, Jiffy or Duncan Hines???

If there are people in your life that love a good debate and can keep it clean, then by all means bring out the big guns. I am finding a lot of people I meet these days want things to stay superficial OR they are going to hammer me into the ground if we disagree, I don't usually find that happy medium.

Also, I discovered that when meeting new people to keep things light until you really know them and can delve into politics, religion, war, moral/ethical philosophy, etc. Some people will go there with you and still want to be friends. Others want to be friends but don't like arguing and debating because it can get really uncomfortable. Try to respect other's opinons and show it by saying so.

Read the rest of this entry »